Much of what has been happening lately is disturbing, and this isn't confined to my personal or work life. To my right, my son is on the couch watching some drama about a man that doesn't even know what grade his daughter is in, and that conjures up depressing memories of my own father. I just finished reading--for the second or third time--a long chapter about the Lacan psychoanalytic approach to literature, and it's even more unhappy than straight old Freudian analysis, the book to my left. Both approaches are heavy on childhood experiences and your place in the family dynamic, so you can imagine how difficult all of that is to plunder through for someone that was a basic throw away child.
I spent a long part of my day writing back and forth with a woman that wanted to argue for the School Library Journal, a corporate publication now in the hands of the edreform crowd, when I should have been arranging my annotated bibliography over Mark Twain's Mysterious Stranger. The clock is ticking on my life in Katy if I don't secure better employment and cheaper living arrangements, but a part of me is somewhat comfortable with another long distance move; a problem that interrupts me regularly during every hiring season, and quietly worms its way into my thoughts when I'm trying to focus on my writing.
The Trump healthcare attack bothered me quite a bit because it was so draconian and uncaring about seniors and women. Now that it's over, I feel rather deflated like a big old balloon. The idea that it is acceptable to make decisions about women's reproductive choices when you aren't a member of the female gender is a source of chronic humiliation for most women that feel no need of a patriarchy. It's almost like these old men are sexual deviants. I am so tired of seeing bug-eyed Mitch McConnell (R KY) lick his nasty old lips and then jump into some tirade about healthcare. Why is a 75 year old man allowed to do this to people? Until he gives up his own state-sponsored benefit package, I don't want to hear anymore of his complaining. I am also just as sickened by Paul Ryan, Speaker of the House, whom I wish would just sit down and shut up until he has something positive and beneficial to say.
Let me reiterate, I am not in love with Hillary, but I did vote for her. I voted for her because I knew she could act professionally when called upon to do so. I voted for her because I know what talking heads like Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and others have done to the psyche of normal mid-range Americans, the hate they are selling. I know how they have manipulated rhetoric and facts to damage middle class protections and serve their rich sponsors like ALEC, the horrible Koch brothers, and other greedy and racist special interests. I am cognizant of the fact that Hillary was not much of an improvement, but at least she wouldn't have cut vital programs for seniors or the struggling underclass of women in this country.
It's disheartening to see how powerful and deeply embedded these hateful and bigoted ideas have become, but now they are present and living among us in the highest offices of our land. I guess this means we must acknowledge them, for they are more than just an undercurrent of injustice, they are now in the light of day. I go to my school and I see the world as it should be, the faces of hope from countries around the world. But I also see the anger and the fear that these hateful bigots have visited upon us. I see this in the shadows of my student's faces, and I hear this in their questions. It's been a hard year for so many reasons large and small, but the doubt and the uncertainty, the trajectory our country is taking us, the continuing abuse of our resources, our planet, and the emphasis on capitalism over legitimacy and fair-dealing is disgusting.